I had regular, crappy, water beer on Saturday. I had a Silver Bullet. Actually, I think I had about 5, maybe more.
Friday night, I'd had the luxury of being gifted a KBS. I followed this up with a few Mayan Mocha Stouts from Odd Side Ales. I followed those up with a couple single malts, and proceeded to demonstrate how to make good lather from shaving soap for my guests. One of them was pregnant...and sober.
Sometimes when I drink I do dumb things.
Lots of stouty, heavy beers leads to a restless night of sleep for Kitty. Regular consumption of milkshake stouts would render me single. If you harnessed all the flatulence from my bowels, however, I may be able to get an energy credit from my local natural gas provider.
So I had a Coors light, or 5, because I don't want to live in the backseat of my car.
I would rather wrestle with a rabid pitbull than cut my dog's nails. I don't recall ever taking a meat cleaver to her paws, so I'm not sure why she freaks-the-@#$%-out when you touch her feet.
 |
| Touch my feet and I'lk kill you |
Kitty started drinking this Mike's Harder Lemonade Blood Orange shit. It's got fangs on the can and is 8% ABV. It induces her non-uniform blinking pattern after she's had 3 of them. But, she "loves the taste of this stuff!" So she had the local store order her 5 cases of it so I can practice making the kids breakfast on a Saturday morning.
"Is mom still sleeping?"
The biggest surprise from the Oscars was that P!nk was NOT suspended from the rafters...spinning around like she was trapped in a tornado.
Why do so many actresses put their evening gowns on backwards?
Lastly, a social media friend posted some cheerleading competition results. I guess the winning club got 781 points and second place 750 points.
If you can play your team's score in the State Lottery, it's not a sport.
We were so close, we only lost by 31!
Why would you score a sport in Mexican Pesos?
L8rz,
J McBoozy
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