Wednesday, August 28

The Overly Wordy Motivational Poster

Pain is weakness leaving the body, girlfriennnnnnnnd!!!


Or maybe it's your plantar fasciitis, tendinitis, arthritis or shit-I'm-old-itis.  Maybe you dropped a 10 pound weight on your big toe when 20 year-old hottie in Lululemon Wonder Buttcheek pants performed dead lifts right in front of you.   Maybe it really is pain, because you seriously think you shattered your hallux along with a few metatarsal and you can't scream because Luluhotpants will laugh at you.

And there, fellow readers, is right about where I stop reading and get sidetracked, go Google image "yoga butts" and lose 23 minutes of my day.

Point being: sometimes pain is painful.  Like, for instance, the time I was doing dumbbell presses and my elbow thought it was a half-day, clocked out early, and left it to the rest of my arm to drop a dumbbell on my face. 

The question isn't how much more can you take, but how much more can you giiiiive...

I'm still all like, "Holy F, this hurts.  Yoga butt...please help me get this 50 pound weight off my face."

Your mind says push harder

No. My mind says, "Dude, you've got a dumbbell on your face and no one seems to give a shit."

You listen.  Or scream...like a 7 year old boy who's just been told we're too poor to afford PS3, so we got you PS2 instead.

Sensing an inner strength that wasn't there before...Like a calming numbness, because you can't tell if your face is losing all feeling or you're  still recovering from the pain of all pains that is getting popped in the nose with a heavy object. 

And suddenly you discover -- you no longer feel pain...because you're thankful Sara the hot trainer assisted you and pulled the dumbbell off your head. However, sadness rushes over you because Ms. Wonder Under never heard you through her Best of Nikki Minaj playlist, took off, got her post workout latte and is now updating her 1378 Facebook friends about "The old dude at the gym who wouldn't stop staring at my ass then dropped a weight on his face."

See.  Pain is painful.

L8rz,
JMcFlatface

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